Day 12

Yesterday was a really tough day. 2 nights of barely sleeping (not sure why), driving kids places, conference calls, fighting with "moderation" of diet drinks.....all of it just led to one super bad mood, being just plain wore out, not being able to get to the gym, and not having time to prepare or even make dinner, which led to the "Cheat Day". Of course I could reason it away, because even in the Paleo for Athletes book it talks about allowing yourself a cheat day once a week or less. I'd been good for 10 days, so cheating for one meal didn't seem so bad.

I didn't want to do it, but I just didn't have the energy to deal with anything else. So, I did about the worst thing possible - I ordered pizza!

The funny thing is, it wasn't all that great. I figured that after going without certain foods, they would all taste AMAZING once I was able to have them. Maybe 10 days without isn't long enough, or maybe it was long enough. Maybe it was long enough to make my body not particularly like it.

Betsy said on her blog that yesterday was tough for her too - she toughed it out though - and she mentioned that maybe some of what she eats is more out of habit than desire. I totally agree with that, and just as much as it is habit it is also out of convenience. We fill our days with so many things to do, places to be, responsibilities to handle....why wouldn't we want the easy way out of feeding the family?! So, we default to what is simplest, which is what we are most familiar with.

I think back on my childhood and at home (with my mom) pizza, sodas, and candy were not necessarily the norm. They were treats. We didn't have the money to buy junk food all the time, so it was only when mom could afford it that we would have it. Every other weekend though, at my dad's, there was junk galore. Domino's, sodas of nearly every kind by the case, candy, Crunch n' Munch, Doritos, cookies....whatever we wanted, we got it and we got lots of it.

Sadly, that is where it all started.....every other weekend, and eventually when I grew up and out on my own, it became every day. So, now is the time to change those habits, rearrange my life and my priorites so that instead of not having time to eat well, I MAKE the time to eat well and let something else less important suffer. Its time to get back to only having junk food only on the rare occasion - maybe one loaded up junk meal time every weekend, or 10 days, or even better maybe only twice a month or once a month.

Regardless, junk and convenience food need to become the exception again rather than the rule. I take a look around and see all the fat children sitting around. It is sad. If they are so overweight now, what will their future be like? If I think I struggle now, with the limited bad habits and chubbiness I was raised with, what kind of struggle will it be for the fat kids whose bad habits are the norm every day - who know nothing different?

But, we have to change ourselves before we can help our kids or anyone else! It all starts within first. So, after my major cheat meal, I recommit to eating healthy and setting a good example.