Learning to Chill Out

So I've been taking the "no pressure" approach to my workouts all week long, and it is surprising what it has done for my attitude already. I'm certainly not being lazy about my workouts - I'm even pushing myself pretty hard. But, I'm enjoying it. I'm going in to the gym with an attitude of "fun" and I'm not looking at previous times/reps/weights. I'm doing what feels "good" and I'm trying not to worry about the rest.

Granted, that is not super easy because my tendency is to want to constantly push myself to go, go, go!!! But the difference here is that I'm trying not to push myself to HAVE to do better than the last time. I'm going at it hard, and I'm working hard, but I'm not locking myself in to some self pre-determined "requirement" of what I think that I should or have to be doing.

Goals are a really great thing and I've always had them to help keep me going and focused. What I never really thought about or realized was the downside to fitness goals - when that's all you focus on and never stop to just ENJOY the fitness. For the last few years I've focused on marathon after marathon. 2 per year, with about 4 months of training for each one. I always had a couple of months in between training schedules to just run for fun. I've never really gone a whole year solid, non-stop pushing myself hard most days of the week.

With the running I would feel burned out at times, but then it was time for the Marathon and I'd get my couple of months of easy running. I haven't had those built in rest periods since I began CrossFit, and it hadn't really occured to me that I wasn't taking any real rest periods. Rest days are one thing and are totally necessary, so I was taking those. But, what I had forgotten was the rest periods....times of more relaxed pace working out...time to mentally chill and allow the body and mind to recharge.

I forgot how good it feels to just chill and stop loading myself with stress. I think that in another couple of weeks I'll set some new goals, and make plans for my next major goal, but then also makes plans for the "chill time" too. Maybe I'll try something like 3 months hard, 1 month easy. Obviously, not only does my body need those rest days each week, but my mind needs some rest too.

For now, I'm just going to keep enjoying this no pressure attitude and just have fun!!

Realizations of Self

Two full months after the gym's Fitness/Diet Challenge, and I just snapped! Well, not terribly. But, I've spent the better part of 2 weeks eating a lot of junk food. At first I could excuse it saying it was PMS. But, PMS cravings don't last that long! (darn it)

I had the thought in the back of my head for weeks that I might be over-training. But, I kept squashing it because I didn't want to slow down. (I hate appearing weak - physically or mentally).

I was to the point where I kept hoping people wouldn't show up to the morning class so that I could go back home and sleep an extra hour. That wasn't working. But, I was taking every spare few minutes I had to get in extra sleep or a nap. I even started skipping runs, even though I was already only running 3 days a week! I argued it away (in my head) by saying that the program said only 2-3, so its okay to just do 2 a week! (whatever!)

Then a couple weeks ago I started finding myself having my cheat meal every 2 days!! It still didn't sink in that I was really burning out! So last week it was Wednesday morning and I had been arguing with myself since mid-day Tuesday about whether or not I wanted to take Wednesday or Thursday as a rest day. But, while getting the guys ready to do their WOD during the 6am class, the decision was made for me! I was getting out a 45 lb. barbell, and as I went to put it on the ground, it fell out of my hands and flat onto my bare foot!!! Rick told me to sit on the floor - there wasn't much choice because I was about to faint!

Luckily nothing was broken, but even so I was out of commission from even feeling up to working out for 4 days! I am still not back to running because it feels strange just while walking (as if bones are out of place). The interesting thing is that when you refuse to really take a REAL break, and then are forced to take several days off....many things become crystal clear.

Such as, how much you miss running with friends and not worrying about your pace or performance. How your stomach has been knotting up before going to the gym because you're worried about beating your last time/reps/weight. How tired you are and how much you are loving sleeping in! And how sad it is that it took smashing your foot to make you stop even though deep down you already knew you were getting burned out!!

The good thing is, I'm making some changes!!! I've decided that it isn't CrossFit or running or even fitness that I need the break from. It is the pressure that I place on myself that I need the break from. I still think CrossFit is the best thing since sliced bread, and deep down I still love running. But, what I don't want right now is a goal, a training program, or any pressure to compete. I want to just run because I feel like it, and I don't want to care how fast or far I go. I want to go do a CrossFit WOD and not care how many sets I do, or how fast I do it. I want to just go have FUN!!!!!

Some people might think "oh, that CrossFit is going to do that to you because it's just not good". It isn't the CrossFit that caused the problem - it was ME!!! I do this regularly - take on too much because I think I'm invincible and think that I should be able to carry heavy loads non-stop all the time. I don't like to admit defeat or weakness - EVER! I'll even get angry with my husband because I feel like I'm doing everything and he's not helping me, but I haven't even asked him for help. I just hoped he would see how much I'm doing and how tired I am, and then OFFER to help. How stupid is that?!

So, thank you to the foot and my clumsy self for giving me the break that I needed to realize that I need a break from my self-imposed strictness!!! My only goal for the next several weeks (or maybe months) is to ENJOY my fitness. I know it won't be easy to stop trying to break my PRs....but I'll know I'm ready to start breaking those CrossFit and Racing PRs when I'm looking forward to doing it rather than feeling queasy about it!

Reviewing the Results

With hearing so many reports of BodPod results that have been disappointing, I keep thinking about what I might have done differently than everyone else. Two things stand out as possibilities - 1) I did 3 CrossFit Endurance Running WODs per week; 2) I ate A LOT and often, every 2-4 hours and included protein (and lots of it) at each of my snacks and meals.

I was rarely ever hungry and made sure that I ate really well in the hours leading up to my workouts, except in the mornings where I didn't eat before doing the CFE WODs. I did find that going in to the Challenge I ended up working out CF or CFE or both 21 days in a row and was feeling very overtrained, so I started giving myself my full day of rest at least one day a week.

I don't know how much of an impact the CFE WODs had for giving me the results that I had, but it is definitely something to consider. CFE WODs are similar to CF WODs in that they are short and intense.

Whatever the differences are, it is well worth digging to see what items can be tweaked for each person to see how they react. Each of us is different, and we each have to fine-tune food and workouts to find what works best for us.

Like I said before, it isn't all just about the body fat lost or weight lost. Every person was successful in that they learned something new about themselves....everyone improved WOD times, weights, reps, and sets. everyone challenged themselves by limiting their diets and pushing themselves harder than ever. That means more than a percentage.

Everyone, Know that you did succeed!!!!

Hugo Challenge Follow Up

So, the Challenge was absolutely a success for me. I dropped 6 lbs. - gaining nearly 2.5 lbs of muscle, and losing nearly 8.5 pounds of fat. This brought my overall body fat down from 20.4% to 14.4%. Far more than I ever imagined would happened. In fact, I thought I might have only lost 2 pounds if I was lucky, and had hoped for at least a 1-2% body fat loss. So, needless to say I am thrilled.

There are others in this Challenge who haven't had such big changes with weight or body fat. The common thread that I have seen in all of these where I've looked at their food journal has been a lack of protein with each snack and even with some meals. I've also seen that they may have even skipped meals or snacks.

The common school of thought holds that if you eat less food you will lose weight. Unfortunately this is a huge misconception. Especially when working out intensely like we do with CrossFit. The body needs protein to build and repair muscles. During a CrossFit (or any other intense workout) you break down muscles. The way to repair them is to take in protein immediately following your workout (preferably within 20 minutes), and also to take in protein all day long with each meal and snack (preferably 3 meals and 2 snacks).

Eating properly is often hard to do, and each person needs to find the right combination for them. This is all a process and all along the way there will be both success and "failures". But, a failure is NOT a failure if you learn something from it. When you feel as if you have failed, take a moment to wallow in your emotions, then snap out of it, review what you did, find out what went wrong, learn something from it, and try again!

There can be no failures when you take this attitude because without "failing" there would be no successes. And, I can tell you, I've had MANY "failures" along my road to this most recent success. I've made so many mistakes, tried so many different methods, pills, diets, and more. Yet, along the way I've learned so many things and have come so far. I'm grateful for it all because without those experiences I would not be where I am today.

Stay strong, stick with it, learn, and keep learning, and keep growing!! This is what it is all about!

Day 29

Wow...today and tomorrow then the Paleo part of the Hugo Challenge is officially over. Its hard to believe this month has flown by so fast!! But, although it is pretty much the end of the Challenge, I am not done. I plan to continue eating Paleo most of the time. I'll make some small changes - like including a planned cheat meal and adding back my post-workout protein shake (I'm not super fond of sweet potatoes unless they have butter and marshmallows), and I'll really focus on eating more lean, healthy protein with every meal and snack. But, for the most part I want to keep eating this way as much as possible.

I learned some good things through this Challenge

1) I allow my busy life to be more of a priority than my health sometimes - too often.

2) I can't always do it all, and it really is okay to just take a break

3) Overtraining can happen before you know it if you don't pay attention to your body - so heed the warnings early on, or be smart upfront and PLAN in rest days - lighter loads are sometimes not really "rest"!

4) Eating healthy is really not all that hard.

5) It is surprising how "empty" calories quickly fill up an entire meal without you realizing it.

6) It is easier (and more effective) to keep eating healthier when you look at it as a lifestyle change rather than a temporary quick-fix, but it can also be easier to do somewhat gradually by eliminating major things one at a time.

7) It is definitely easier to make major lifestyle changes when you are surrounded by people who are doing the same things you are doing, or who are at least very supportive of your changes.

I can't wait to see what everyone's results are like! I've seen some pretty awesome stuff so far!

Day 27

OMG! It is seriously only 3 days to the end of this Challenge! WOW!!!!

This morning I wasn't at home for my wonderful breakfast, and I had to sit by while two people were eating the most tempting egg, cheese, ham croissants! OH DANG!!!!!

Oh well.....3 more days! I can wait 3 more days. Besides....I got a 4-pack going on and pretty soon that will be a six pack, and THAT is my reward for not having things like greasy, fattening Croissants!!!

Off to head in to the rest of my day!

Day 26

I started blogging yesterday, but didn't get past the title. Talk about busy. Having mom visit and my USA FIT Gwinnett season getting ready to kick-off has just about put me over the edge. I feel like I'm so far behind on EVERYTHING! But, I'm still doing pretty well with this Paleo diet.

I finally got in my copy of the Paleo Diet book. I've been reading it and there is some good additional info in there. One thing I realized is how important Protein is to Paleo. I've been having protein with every meal and snack, but probably not enough. So, I've been trying to increase my protein and make sure it is better, more lean meats.

One thing I WON'T do from the Paleo book is eat nasty animal organs. I don't care how well cavemen thrived on eating brains, liver, and other organs....I won't do it. I don't want to be "that" healthy. No thanks!!

So, the news of the day yesterday was Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson dying. Both of them were huge during my childhood so I feel like a piece of my own history is gone. It is strange. The funny thing is, I KNOW I'm getting older - its hard to avoid with having the "Big 4-0" looming ahead in a couple of weeks. But still, I just don't picture those famous people from my childhood as getting older. So, as I'm rolling out my legs on my foam roller while watching the news about Michael Jackson go from "he's in a coma" to "he's dead"......I stopped in my tracks when they said "Michael Jackson is dead at 50". FIFTY!?!!!!!!!!! SAY WHAT?!

My kids busted out laughing at me as I yelled "FIFTY????" When the hell did Michael Jackson, young, dancing, singing, Thriller star, turn fifty years old. Where the heck have I been? Obviously not paying attention! But, well, regardless of how old he was when he died or how messed up he became as he aged, he was still an amazing star who changed the world of music and he will forever be a part of my childhood memories. And, he will forever be remembered, by me, as being a young man because that is how I remember him most and best.

This makes me think that whether I die when I'm 50 or 90, I hope that my kids will always see me as the young, lively, active mom that I believe that I am today.

Day 24

I was away from the gym last week during my regular hours, plus some people have been coming in at other times, so for a couple of weeks I've missed seeing several people! Yesterday when I went in it was GREAT because it was so obvious that this Challenge has been a wonderful thing for so many!

The ones that stood out the most (probably because I haven't seen them longest) were Kathy Ramos, Jill Clay, and Sara Nichols! You could see the weight loss in their faces, abs, legs, everywhere! WOW!!! I was so impressed - especially with Kathy. I was there when Ben was almost fighting with her to convince her to do this challenge! He had to really press her to convince her to try....and she has stuck with it and done amazingly!!! Major kudos to her!!

Everyone that I've asked how they are doing with this challenge has said that they want to keep following Paleo afterwards. Granted, they want to throw in the cheat meal here or there, but they have enjoyed it enough, and feel so great on it, and have had such great results that they want to keep it going! I'm so excited about that. It is things like that which will be most life-changing in the end because that one dietary change will lead to so many other wonderful things.

Eating better will turn in to weight loss, which will turn in to better health, which will lead to feeling better, which leads to looking better and exercising stronger and better, which leads to feeling better about yourself and having more self-confidence, which continues the cycle and ultimately increases the overall quality of life in all areas - work, family, health, liefspan, etc.!!

Lately whenever I think about the junk food I love, I'm really not quite as tempted. I think about how unhealthy it is and all the negative effects it has. I still want the small taste of it sometimes, but practically gorging myself on it or filling my entire meal with it isn't as appealing anymore! Let's hope these feelings stick!!

Day 23

Its hard to believe this challenge is over. Eating like this is not really a habit yet, but it is familiar and is getting more "comfortable". For the most part I like it, and I think I can stay with it for a large majority of the time. Like not having bread, pasta, and rice at dinner all of the time. That is easy to do, as is breakfast. I like the occasional pizza for dinner, or the subway sandwich at lunch. But, I think it will be easy to limit them.

Especially sine I've been noticing for the last week that those tough to lose chub handles at my back waist are going away. I didn't believe it at first, but now I can really see it. Not to mention my abs are tighter than they've ever been, which is odd for me. A good odd, but something I'm not used to. I don't feel like I've lost much weight at all, but I'm hopeful that the BodPod test will come back and surprise me with lower body fat levels. I sure hope it does!

If not, I'm running out and grabbing a big ole Cherry Coke and guzzling it all down!! LOL!!!

Day 22

I wasn't sure how Father's Day was going to go. We went to visit the in-laws and went out for lunch to Ryan's. Now, with it being food bars, I was worried about the options I would have, and for good reason!!! About 80% of the food there was NOT Paleo. It was awful! There was the steak, and grilled chicken, most of the salad bar, and two sections of fruit, and that was all that was decent to eat. The rest of the food, on the other 4 food bars was definitely NOT anything I could eat.

And the good part was that most of it wasn't really all that appetizing! Looking at all that GREASE and slop that everyone else was eating just grossed me out. I had no desire to eat any of that nasty stuff. The dessert bar was harder to pass up, but not so difficult that I gave in. I didn't get any ice cream, candy, pies, or any of it. I had one partial spoon taste of my husband's banana cream and that was my "dessert" along with my pineapple and strawberries. One thing that was tempting were the buttered rolls sitting in the basket immediately in front of me! I had to really work at not grabbing one of those!!!

All in all, it was a good day and I was happy that it was fairly easy to stick to my Paleo plan even though the majority of the food around me was not Paleo. I suppose that being surrounded by almost all fat people may have helped. In fact, two men that were there had to be well over 400 pounds. They were ENORMOUS!!! It was shocking that they could even walk! It was sad to see that.

Day 20

Yesterday's day of FULL REST was heavenly! MUCH needed and totally appreciated. I already feel better. I ran a CFE WOD this am. It was hot and humid already at 7 am. UGH!!! I did the first mile really well, but then the second mile was way slower because it was ALL uphill. No wonder the first mile felt so good - it was all downhill!!!!

This afternoon we took a day trip, with my mom, to Amicalola Falls. We weren't sure where everything was or what to do so we ended up driving up to the top to see what was there. Then we took the steps down, where mom stayed to have us come back for her since she wasn't sure she could do all those steps back up. Since she stayed, we decided to take a more "scenic" route and took some of the trails to head back up.

We definitely took the long way, but it was kinda fun. I'm thinking that considering we walked 425 steps down, then all those trails back to the steps, and then 426 steps back up....I'd say that was my WOD for the day! LOL!!

I kind of ruined it though....the family wanted Dairy Queen after and pizza for dinner, and well, since mom is in town visiting I didn't say no. So, now that I've had 3 cheat days during this month I think I need to be strict the remaining 9 days of this Challenge, and continue it 80-90% of the time after! Its good stuff and I feel good eating more healthy.

Day 19

WOW...only 11 days left of this Challenge! Yesterday was a good day - just tired. I came to the conclusion that I HAVE to have my full and complete rest day. Not "rest" because I don't do a CF WOD and still do a CFE WOD, but "rest" because I TOTALLY REST!! I think that deciding that made it easier to get through the day!

Yesterday's WOD was tough. It is at least 91 in the gym by about noon these days, and although I know it is good for me to get acclimated to workout out in the heat, since the Peachtree Road Race will be HOT, it still doesn't change the fact that working out in that kind of heat is WAY harder than normal. I hate it, yet I love it. I guess it is kind of that sadistic love-hate relationship! I hate that it is hot and that I feel like I struggle more, but I love that I could do it and that I sweat like mad! When done working out in a veritable sauna you just have this major feeling of accomplishment - like you are tougher than those sissies over there in the air conditioned globo gym!

So, as much of a sissie as I felt like on Wed, I think I made up for it yesterday with my 18:09 time, 105 wall ball shots with 15# ball hitting RIGHT under the 10ft line, and 105 pull ups, and tearing up my hands. I feel vindicated. Knowing you are going to take an entire day off and get to really, truly REST, will sure help you push yourself!

Waking up this morning, I already felt better knowing I could take it totally easy all day today. I'm sure that by evening I'll be antsty and will hate the fact that I didn't do anything, but that will be good because then I'll be ready for a good CFE run tomorrow morning!

Day 18

Okay, so yesterday was an okay day, but its been too long since I've slept REALLY good and I'm getting SO TIRED! My Hang Power Snatch WOD last night was truly pathetic (for me). I only got to 55 - I tried 65 and failed pathetically. Then I had to keep going back down and focus on my form and each additional rep got more and more sad, until I ended back with the 30# bar. So, then I did a few other things like GHD Back Extensions and Sit ups (6 sets of 15). At least I sweat with those! SHEESH!!!

So, this morning I didn't fare much better. I almost didn't get out of bed at 4:35. I'm guessing my husband was too tired to hear me cussing as Ch'ixi pawed at me to hurry up and get out of bed after I had smacked my alarm. I was going to just say F-it and go back to sleep but then realized I'd have to get up in an hour anyway to get to the gym for my 6am people. So, what was the point of trying to stay in bed? I got up, but didn't have any "oomph" to even think about doing a CFE WOD, so I ran an easy 3 miles with Jenny. Ch'ixi wasn't overly happy about not running fast - she's been enjoying the faster CFE WODs lately!

I went home after class and slept for about 45 mins, got up, had a good breakfast, but I'm still DRAGGING!!! This is somewhat different than the lack of energy at the beginning of the Paleo. I don't think it is food related at all - this time I believe it is the beginnings of burn-out. I checked my workout log and realized that I haven't had a single day completely off since May 25th. On CF rest days I've been doing CFE workouts. So, in reality I've had no days off at all, whereas I'm used to having one complete day a week of nothing so that I can just rest and recover. That meant that with CFE I was getting 3 days a week, and 4 days for CF. Some of those days included both CF and CFE and some were just CF or just CFE. That worked out well.

THIS, well, this is NOT workout out so well. Challenge or no challenge, I need to take better care of myself and I need more recovery time. That may mean once or twice I'll have to either skip a WOD or do 2 in one day, but either way I obviously need to be taking an FULL rest day. Doing CFE workouts in the am and taking the rest of the day to rest is apparently not enough "rest".

Bummer! And, Craig, if you are reading this....YES, as we get "so old" we do need more recovery days. :-P

Day 17

Day 16 was good. I kept to Paleo well, and my mom likes the Paleo foods so far - especially the Pecan cookies!! She even wants the Paleo recipes to take home and cook some for herself and give to friends who are diabetic and need to watch their diet.

I have to say - I am a bit aggravated that the men on Paleo have it so much easier than us ladies. They are losing large amounts of weight like it's nothing, and they don't have "monthly stuff" interfering with their bodies by making them retain water, gaining weight, have major cravings, and getting them moody. It's not right and I think we should get double points for making it through our PMS weeks!!!

It was so great having a rest day - well, most of it since I did a CFE WOD in the early am. All the soreness from last week's crazy WODs has finally disappeared! I feel ready for the rest of this week!! Bring it on!

Day 16

Yesterday went well and I think I ate pretty good. I'm definitely needing to cut down on portions though. I feel like I might even be gaining weight! (argh!!!) I'm also looking for ways to get more veggies. I definitely don't eat enough of them. I took Jerome's advice and put some spinach in with my scrambled eggs. I thought it was going to be disgusting (even though I actually like spinach), but it was actually good. The spinach gets soft but not slimy, and you barely taste it. So, I guess I now have a nice change from my plain old egg whites, and I'll get more greens!

I can't even express how excited I was that yesterday was a 5K WOD! Since I ran 5K on Saturday and missed Saturday's WOD, it was going to mean that I wasn't going to get a rest day today because I was going to have to make up Sat, Sun and Mon WODs a day off schedule. But, with the 5K showing up I got in Sat and Sun WODs on Sun and Mon and don't have to do the 5k! WOO HOO!!!!! I GET A REST DAY!!!!!!

I don't know about everyone else, but these last couple of weeks of WODs have seemed pretty intense. I guess part of that is that I'm trying to go as close to Rx'd as possible, even if it means sacrificing my times/sets. That has made things harder, but I REALLY want to be able to start doing the workouts Rx'd!!! I feel like I'm hitting that plateau...maybe not, but it sure seems like it. We'll see!

14 days to go!!

Day 15

Day 15 - we are HALFWAY!! WOW!!!! My old habits were sure trying to reel me back in last week. I'd have to say that eating-wise last week was the worst yet. But, today I'm feeling stronger and more committed. I did well yesterday, getting salad versions of my usual sub sandwiches. It wasn't too bad. I normally peel off and scoop out most of the bread anyway - so it really was pretty easy after I got past actually ordering it. The act of ordering - or the habit - is tough.....I'm so used to just saying the usual "6 inch blah, blah, with chips and drink", or fries and drink, or whatever the heck.

This week's challenge will be having my mom come to visit. She likes making pies and other unhealthy foods! I'm going to have to show her my recipes and tell her we can only make those! She probably won't like it, but maybe I can influence her to eat better. She has gained weight over the years, and I've been trying to get her to exercise (at least), with not much success. I figure that since she is retired and very actively involved in her church and taking care of friends and family, then she really needs to do everything she possibly can to make sure she is healthy and strong, and around for many years. That won't happen if she keeps eating, gaining, and not exercising!

So, although I feel ready for Week #3 of this Challenge, I am not entirely sure how it will go. Having family in town and taking time off always seems to throw a wrench in my plans to eat better. I just hope that this time can be different, and I can stick to the plan regardless of what everyone else around me is eating!!!!!

Day 14

I missed blogging yesterday because I was hardly home all day. I got up early to head to the Archer Tiger 5K at Tribble Mill Park, where I finished in 24:54 and apparently won first place in my age group. This will be the last placing in this age group, since in July I turn 40! I'm going to have to seriously step it up in the 40-45 age bracket because those ladies are FAST!

Yesterday after the race I was hanging out with my friend Kelly, who was nice enough to come up here all the way from Columbus just to hang with me for the day! We were out all day - from 11:30 until 9:30! This made for keeping with the Challenge very "interesting". Eating on the go all day. I didn't get near enough water because I forgot to take my water bottle. For lunch we hit Mimi's Cafe and I did okay there with an Apple, Walnut Salad with added blackened chicken, but I forgot to ask for the dressing on the side. It was a vineagrette dressing, but chances are it had sugar in it.

After that I didn't have any snack things with me, so went to Chick-Fil-A and ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with fruit cup and planned to toss the bun. I got my stuff and left, and then realized they had given me a FRIED chicken sandwich! ARGH! I was starving though, so had to eat it, but did still toss the bread. Shortly after I got a great big veggie salad.

Not my best day for eating, but I tried. Its hard on the go, for sure! And its really hard at the movie theatre with the smell of all that popcorn and butter and candy!! UGH!!!!! But, I had none of it. Going to the movies during a challenge like this is not the easiest thing in the world - and I've been THREE times since June 1st. STUPID!

Today will go better - I'm at home all day! At least I stuck with the challenge as best I could and I was happy for that.

Day 12 - Addition

When I wrote my comments about fat children, I hadn't yet read these statistics:

"The numbers are startling. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, about 30% of U.S. adults 20 and older are obese and 65 percent are either overweight or obese. One out of five kids ages 12 to 19 is now considered obese." ~ Shawn Phillips from

It's worse than I thought!!!

Day 12

Yesterday was a really tough day. 2 nights of barely sleeping (not sure why), driving kids places, conference calls, fighting with "moderation" of diet drinks.....all of it just led to one super bad mood, being just plain wore out, not being able to get to the gym, and not having time to prepare or even make dinner, which led to the "Cheat Day". Of course I could reason it away, because even in the Paleo for Athletes book it talks about allowing yourself a cheat day once a week or less. I'd been good for 10 days, so cheating for one meal didn't seem so bad.

I didn't want to do it, but I just didn't have the energy to deal with anything else. So, I did about the worst thing possible - I ordered pizza!

The funny thing is, it wasn't all that great. I figured that after going without certain foods, they would all taste AMAZING once I was able to have them. Maybe 10 days without isn't long enough, or maybe it was long enough. Maybe it was long enough to make my body not particularly like it.

Betsy said on her blog that yesterday was tough for her too - she toughed it out though - and she mentioned that maybe some of what she eats is more out of habit than desire. I totally agree with that, and just as much as it is habit it is also out of convenience. We fill our days with so many things to do, places to be, responsibilities to handle....why wouldn't we want the easy way out of feeding the family?! So, we default to what is simplest, which is what we are most familiar with.

I think back on my childhood and at home (with my mom) pizza, sodas, and candy were not necessarily the norm. They were treats. We didn't have the money to buy junk food all the time, so it was only when mom could afford it that we would have it. Every other weekend though, at my dad's, there was junk galore. Domino's, sodas of nearly every kind by the case, candy, Crunch n' Munch, Doritos, cookies....whatever we wanted, we got it and we got lots of it.

Sadly, that is where it all started.....every other weekend, and eventually when I grew up and out on my own, it became every day. So, now is the time to change those habits, rearrange my life and my priorites so that instead of not having time to eat well, I MAKE the time to eat well and let something else less important suffer. Its time to get back to only having junk food only on the rare occasion - maybe one loaded up junk meal time every weekend, or 10 days, or even better maybe only twice a month or once a month.

Regardless, junk and convenience food need to become the exception again rather than the rule. I take a look around and see all the fat children sitting around. It is sad. If they are so overweight now, what will their future be like? If I think I struggle now, with the limited bad habits and chubbiness I was raised with, what kind of struggle will it be for the fat kids whose bad habits are the norm every day - who know nothing different?

But, we have to change ourselves before we can help our kids or anyone else! It all starts within first. So, after my major cheat meal, I recommit to eating healthy and setting a good example.

Day 11

Wow - we are 1/3 of the way through the Challenge. It is actually kind of hard to believe that. It is going by so fast. It is good that it is going fast, but then part of me worries if there is enough time left to see major results. That is kind of a silly worry because people have already commented on results they can see.

Part of me is just worried that because I'm becoming accustomed to this way of eating, and so has my body, that I'll just stay the way I have always been (or never get away from being this way)- slow metabolism, easy to put on body fat, hard to get off body fat, no dietary change ever being enough! It is a valid concern, especially since the only other time in my life when I was even close to being this fit was 10 years ago when I worked out 1.5 to 2 hours a day, 6 days a week, sometimes with another 30 min mid-day run in there. All that work, and the stress of 3 young children under the age of 6 and a bad marriage, got me down to 17% body fat. Even so, I wasn't as fit as I am now.

As soon as I quit working out like that, the body fat began creeping back on. The only thing that even came close to taking some of it off was a 10-day juice fast. But the effects of that didn't last long. So, being the former chubby kid, I am a little "intense" about never allowing myself to get back that way again. I've tried most of the latest and greatest cures - Hydroxycut, Green Tea tablets, the Master Cleanse, P90X, Marathon training, whatever I could find that would not require too much time or "effort" then I wanted to do it.

In the back of my mind I always missed the intensity of the weightlifting I did, and the fitness classes I had taken. The only reason the stuff I did was so effective then was because of the friend I worked out with who pushed me every day - calling me a sissy or telling me I worked out like a weak girl when I was feeling lazy. (he got the same teasing he gave). I loved being pushed like that. I loved being challenged to lift heavier and do more reps, but my excuse was I didn't have time anymore, so I chose running and focused on that.

More than five years later, and heading in to my 39th year knowing I'd be 40 before I knew it, I got sick and tired of putting on a couple of pounds each year, struggling to try to keep the gain as low as that, and tired of my runs getting worse and worse each year. I finally hit the gym and paid for a personal trainer, found Jerome who introduced me to CrossFit, I found No Excuses, and so here I am.....finally achieving what I'd always wanted - be fit as I can be, challenge myself, reach new goals, feel proud of myself, feel good about my body, and HAVE FUN DOING IT!! (Running is still a love of mine, but even that has changed and is taking a new, exciting course.)

So, even though I'm on the right track, and even though, I know I've come a long way from those chubby teen and 20 years, the fear of going back still remains even if it has quieted some. I suppose that is why I work so hard, and am so intense with what I do, and with how I talk to people about it. I want everyone to feel the amazing feeling of accomplishment when you do something you thought you were never born to do or would ever be capable of. I want everyone to know it is possible to overcome your past and create yourself into what you always dreamed you wanted to be. It doesn't matter if you were an athlete as a child, or a teen, or young adult....it is never too late to start and it is never to late to reinvent yourself.

Take it from the girl who showed up to a family reunion a few years ago (not even at the height of fitness) and was told "Laura, I didn't even know who you were! You were always the chubby one in the family! What have you been doing?".....the worst limits imposed on us are the ones we impose on ourselves. Get out of your comfort zone regularly...you will be amazed at what you can accomplish!

Day 10 - Addition

I had a small oops today, but it turned out AWESOME!! I went to make my Paleo Walnut Cookies and realized the bag was Pecans NOT Walnuts - they look the same. But, I didn’t have any others so I decided to try it with Pecans.

They are WAY better than the Walnuts. My husband said they are “jam up”! He thinks I should sell them. LOL!! Here is what I did:

2 cups chopped fine Pecans (in processor)
2 egg whites beat to frothy
2 tablespoons raw honey (the light colored kind)
a sprinkle of Flaxseed Meal (probably 1/8 cup)
a sprinkle of Carob Chips (no sugar, but sweetened with beet juice)

It makes about 16 small cookies. YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!

Day 10

Here we are at Day 10 and this whole process has really been interesting. Physically I have adjusted to the diet - because my insides are no longer freaked out and my energy level is back (I did 15 + sets of Cindy even though it was 90 degrees in the gym, and even though my arms were SORE after thrusters the previous day). So, all of this is good stuff.

However, different difficulties are presenting themselves this week. I think I might be eating too much because I'm not losing any more weight and I'm feeling that stuffed stomach feeling at times through the day. That might be because my cravings are worse this week than last week. I just want a total cheat day. That old logic is trying to weasel it's way in...."If I have a cheat day I can get back on track the next day. Its okay." Its not, but I've always reasoned it away and that "next day" where I was going to get back on track didn't usually transpire.

Instead, the next day, I would reason that a cheat meal each day was okay, and next thing you know it was pizza day, and the next day I'd be tired and not want to cook dinner and so it was Zaxby's fried chicken, and well, lunch is a pain and so it was subway with a good sandwich but large soda. In fact, in every one of those meals it included a large soda! All those calories, all that sugar, spiking insulin levels, storing body fat.

I looked in the mirror and knew exactly why I wasn't seeing the progress I wanted or should have been seeing. I pledged almost every morning to do well and not have any sodas or junk that day. Yet 2 hours later sitting at my computer, bored, I would decide to drive the mile to the closest gas station to buy a Cherry Coke! All earlier pledges forgotten.

So, I know that during this Challenge if I give in to that Cheat Day, it will likely be the end of the Paleo part of the Challenge for me. That doesn't make it any easier to not do it though. The sad thing is, it isn't even that eating this way is terrible or anything. In fact, I love all the fresh food and the substitutes are good. I actually think that most of my issue is pure laziness when it comes to putting together meals and cooking. I can't stand cooking. I'm always rushed to get home and figure out what to make for everyone, knowing that there will likely be at least two people at the table complaining of how they hate this or that.

I also am a BORING cook. I only like a few different vegetables, and I'm picky as can be about the smell and consistency of my food. So, my options are seriously limited. I try branching out and trying new things, and I do. It works out pretty well most of the time - if I'm not cooking it! But, still, it is just so much easier to just sit at my computer at the end of my workday and plug in an order for pizza to arrive at 5:30, or to call my husband and ask him to stop on his way home to get some fast food.

So, there's the solution to my problem.....I just need to hire a cook instead of a cleaning lady, and I'll be able to eat healthy all the time! LOL!!

Day 9

Here we are - Day 9. Nearly 1/3 done with this Challenge. I finally got over the energy slump and am enjoying having more energy once again. Yesterday's workout felt good and I was thrilled to finish it (45# thrusters/63 jump ropes) in only 10:24. I felt good enough to do 10 sets of 10 each GHD situps and back extensions. After that I was feeling a bit strange, but had some baked sweet potato chips (totally paleo) and the weirdness went away quickly.

This morning's CFE WOD was great and I marked good times for my intervals. It feels SO GOOD to feel good again!!!

I wonder if I'm eating too much though, and I know I need to stop having fruit with dinner. I don't do it every night, but I love fruit and just think veggies are "okay". I could live on fruit all day and never have another vegetable again and probably be totally happy.

My family is sick of chicken. I've made steak twice in the last 9 days, and most of the rest of the nights have been chicken, which is a lot!! Its just hard to come up with creative ways to make paleo dinners and lunches. I've got recipes and I've been trying them, but I don't have lots of time to prepare stuff. Sometimes I've even gone to make a recipe and realized it takes 3 hours to cook, and so I've had to shift gears and find something else.

I also am not thrilled with having to go to the store every 4 or 5 days. I used to shop for two weeks at a time, and only hit the stores maybe once in between for milk and a few other things. Now I'm shopping 3-4 times more often, buying less at a time, and probably spending more money! That is not so enjoyable.

So, anyway, I'm starting to wish nobody mentioned the "In Moderation" section of our Paleo plan. I'm not so good at moderation and since then I've been obsessed with wanting Diet Cherry Dr. Peppers. I've only had one, and am having another one right now. But, still. I'd rather not be drinking any at all since they are so full of chemicals. It was easier when I thought they were totally banned. Yes, how stupid is that? But, whatever, the mind works in quirky ways - especially my mind.

Even so, this whole challenge is going good and I'm feeling great. This week is starting off awesome!

Day 8

Yesterday was good.  I did Saturday's workout and it was nice having something at a slower pace after I had felt so tired and weak for so many days.  It helped me feel like I was getting my energy back.  

Yesterday I made some Paleo Brownies and more Paleo Walnut Cookies.  Yum.  I also grilled some Mahi-Mahi.  I'm not a fan of any kind of fish, but with almonds on top it was okay.  Not my favorite food, but tolerable.  Breakfast is still the easiest meal of the day to put together and eat - especially since I love fruit and I get to have lots.  

I found out that we can have "moderate" amounts of diet soda - not preferred but allowed.  So, I had a Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper.  It was okay.  Not as great as I thought it would be.  It took me about 2 hours to drink it. (which is weird for me).  It seemed like after that diet soda all my cravings came rushing back.  Driving past Zaxby's was difficult and not buying popcorn/candy/sodas at the movie was tough.  So, maybe the Diet Sodas isn't the best idea - especially since (as Sara reminded me) I don't know what moderation is when it comes to sodas!!  Bummer.

I just need to keep focusing on what I CAN have rather than what I can't have, and remember that this is a good thing.  Now that my energy levels are coming back up that is getting easier to do!

I believe I am ready for another day!!

Day 7

Today is starting out to be a better day.  I think I might actually be getting my energy back some!  I did Saturday's workout (Bench Press & Pull Ups) today since I didn't do it yesterday.  I wasn't happy with my 95# Press, but did well on the strict pull ups.  So, I think I'm on the way to getting adjusted.  

Meals are going well.  I still need to get more creative, but I'm getting there.  I tried making some Paleo "Bread" using arrowroot and some other stuff.  That was bland and kind of weird, but I can still eat it and it makes me feel like I'm eating bread somewhat.  The almond butter and coconut muffins weren't such a hit.  I'm not fond of shredded coconut, although I like eating it in big pieces, so I guess I should have left that out.  Even with it, the muffins were just super bland and pretty much just yucky.  Too bad I have a dozen left.  Hmph!

Dinners are going well - I'm just leaving out the pasta, rice and bread that I used to add in.  So, the family isn't feeling too deprived yet.  Although they miss pizza night and sodas, and they don't think they should be restricted just because I am.  Where's the love?!

So, now that I worked out, its time to sneak off to the pool for a little R&R!  Got to take advantage of the beautiful day!

Day 6

Yesterday went somewhat well.  It is strange - I pretty much feel good, but I just don't have any strength or real energy.  I was excited about the Deadlift workout - I thought it would be good, but then I got there and the warm up was wearing me out!  I did one lift 30 lbs less than what my Max Lift was just last week, and that was it.  The rest of them were 50 lbs LESS than last week's max.  It was horrible.  I got home and felt like I have felt when I fast - burned out, no fuel in the tank, totally empty!!!

I had a good dinner of Pot Roast with a salad and a few grapes, and a paleo walnut cookie.  That gave me enough energy to last through the movie (we saw The Hangover), but by the time we got home at 10:30 pm I totally crashed!  

This lack of energy is frustrating.  I am eating a bunch - lots of protein, fruit (mostly in the am), veggies and healthy fats.  In fact, I'm rarely even hungry because I'm eating well.  I'm even trying to keep my meals and snacks well balanced between the protein, carbs and fats.  But, like this morning - I didn't have time before leaving for my run to eat a full meal so I just grabbed a bowl of fruit.   It helped - I had a pretty good run.  I didn't push it and wasn't shooting for PRs.  I was just trying to run  a "15 RPE" effort.  (Rate of Perceived Exertion), and I ended up averaging a total of 10 min miles for 4 miles, but my last mile was pretty decent at a 8:52 pace.  So, I did have some energy and felt okay but that felt like a 17 or 18 effort, which is pretty sad considering how well I've been running.

Then by the end of the run, that was it - no more energy.  On the drive home I started to nod off a couple of times.  When I got home I changed out of my sweaty clothes, threw on something dry and climbed back in bed (yes, that's nasty) and slept for TWO hours!!!!  I am NOT enjoying this part of the Paleo.  

Its aggravating to have such low energy because other than the weakness, I feel pretty good.  It hasn't been too horrible going without the sodas - its hard, but easier than I anticipated.  I have noticed some great body changes - I dropped at least 4 lbs, I can see more muscle definition, and my skin feels great.  Now if my body can just do it's thing and start using fat for fuel instead of only the immediate stuff I've eaten I'll be great.  I've always known that was a problem for me.

With all the running I've been doing the last 10 years, I've still carried excess body fat even during the times I've eaten better (or less).  It is like my body has no clue how to dip in to fat stores for fuel because even while training for marathons I would still put ON body fat where most people would be shedding it!  I figure it goes back to a childhood of eating like crap and being chubby.  I was never athletic back then so how could my body learn to work the way it needed to during high activity.

I just hope this month of Paleo changes that to a certain extent.  I don't want to do this to become some scrawny anorexic chick....so this isn't about losing weight.  Its just about getting healthier, having my body work right, getting stronger and more fit, and getting some nice muscle definition.  So, I'm still plugging along and hoping for the best....but something has to change soon!!!

Day 5

I can't believe I'm almost a week in to this Paleo diet and I haven't cheated!!!  It reminds me of when I did my 10 day juice fast, but this is much easier.  In fact, in a way it is easier than I anticipated it would be.  (thankfully!)

It turned out to be a really great thing that yesterday was a Rest Day.  I did a CFE interval workout at 5 am, but since that was so early in the morning by 8 am I felt like I hadn't done anything yet for the day, and in the evening I was feeling quite rested.  Especially after a much needed nap at 3 pm.  

Although my energy levels have been weird all week, I feel like I might be heading to the upside of this today.  This is good.  Plus it is good that I've already lost some weight.  I can see that I'm leaning out already and that is a wonderful feeling.

Now that I'm doing this - I want that 6-pack by July 21st even more than ever!  I want a new birthday outfit that shows it off, and I want a great picture so that I can always remember how I was more fit, healthy, and better looking at 40 than I ever was in my teens, 20's or 30's!!  That will make heading in to my 40's such a great thing and such an amazing accomplishment - one I would have never dreamed of 10 or 20 years ago.  

Now I am excited!!!

Day 4

Day 3 was good, and thankfully my husband didn't bring any Cherry Cokes or Cherry Dr. Peppers in the house.  Although I'm not so sure it won't happen at some point in the next month, but hopefully by the time it does I will feel stronger and not so tempted!

Yesterday's workout was CRAZY!!  I thought I was going to puke out there running in that afternoon heat and then while Jerome was pushing me through those pull ups, not letting me get more than 3-5 seconds between my sets (I was able to do the first 10 in a row each time, but then only 5 at a time, 3 at time, or even 1 at a time).  Jerome wasn't letting me slack and it was horrible, but in a good way.  Well, only good AFTER!!  At the time I wasn't so sure, but I felt so good after I finished.  I KNEW I had given those pull ups everything I had!  I might have been able to run harder, but I'm not so sure.  I'm used to the cool air at 5am - not sweltering heat of 3:30pm!  UGH!

I weighed myself this morning and was down at least 4 pounds.  It might be 5 because my scale is off from the Bod Pod crew's scale.  Either way - what a boost to my morale starting off Day 4 with having lost weight so quickly.  I doubt it is water weight too because I've been drinking so much stinking water that I feel like I'm sloshing when I walk!!!

Now I just hope my energy levels come back to normal.  The day is pretty good, but post-workout I'm wiped out big time.  I hear that on Paleo, after about a week to 10 days, energy levels skyrocket.  So, I'm really looking forward to that.  

I'm excited for what is to come!!

Day 3

So I got through Day 2 okay.  I wanted a Cherry Soda pretty bad most of the day.  

I went to Kroger with hubby in the evening to buy more fruit and stuff, and he walks off to "get something", and as I head back towards him he's carrying a Cherry Dr. Pepper and the moment he sees me he starts laughing.  I thought I would cry.  SO NOT FUNNY!   At least he put it back and got a Mt. Dew, which is nowhere near as tempting for me.  If there Cherry DP had been in the house, chances are he would not have gotten a drop of it - it would have been MINE!

Yesterday's WOD went well, though I didn't feel as energetic as usual and was actually happy that it was an Olympic Lift day.  I was looking forward to the slower pace and lower intensity.  That isn't the norm for me!

Last night I was SO TIRED by 9 pm.  I go to bed early most nights, but am not generally THAT tired by 9.  I was still wiped out when I woke up this morning as well.  It was obvious I would need some good food to start Day 3.  My hope is that my body gets used to using Body Fat for fuel really quickly so I can have my energy back and get this excess OFF!

Off to another Day!

Day 2

So, I got through Day 1 of the Hugo Challenge.  It wasn't too horrible.  My problem is that I don't enjoy cooking, and don't really have the time for making a bunch of stuff from scratch - which is pretty much required for Paleo since all the meals in the freezer section of the grocery store all have tons of salt, sugar, and terrible chemicals.  I think that I need a day off work to gut the kitchen, put my recipes and ingredients in order and maybe even make some stuff up ahead of time.  

The sad thing is, I'd rather work out 2 or 3 times a day instead of changing my diet, but changing my diet is what I need most.  Hmph!  Oh, and another sad thing is right after breakfast the first thing I thought about was that I wanted to run up to the gas station to grab a Cherry Coke.  Bad habits are hard to break.  I should be taking that near $1.50 every day and put it in a jar to see how quickly it adds up.  Then I could spend it on something better than Cokes at the end of the month. 

It is a very good thing that I am being held accountable by my team.  Otherwise, I'd likely say forget this and run and go get that Cherry Coke.

Will I ever like this Paleo thing?  Will I ever stop wanting these stinking sodas?  Let's hope that after a month this all will change!

Hugo Challenge - Day 1

So it is day 1 of the Hugo Challenge. So far, so good. I filled myself to overflowing with garbage food last week, and by Friday felt so sick I didn't want anything bad. I still had the weekend, but ate pretty clean because I had felt so awful by Friday. I did have a couple of sodas on Sunday - last day before getting serious. I just couldn't resist knowing it would be a month!

I don't really expect this to be easy, but I am hoping it will be made much easier by all the friends involved in this with me. Having an entire Team of people following the same plan, working towards similar goals, all having to make sacrifices....this makes it seem easier. I am not in this alone.

It is amazing how difficult it is to change bad habits. The dairy was easy - I did away with that 90% a couple of weeks ago. No biggie. Grains, they were harder, but I cut back a lot on them starting a couple of weeks ago also - but I hadn't yet given up my Subway grilled chicken on wheat sub with the bread scooped out. Sigh. I love those. They will be hard to give up. But maybe it will be almost as good in a bowl!

Now the sugar - that is the killer. Sugar addiction is a horrible beast. Some people come off it easy as can be, and I am so jealous of those people! Me? Not so much. I'm about as bad as a smoker trying to quit smoking. It has always been near impossible. Maybe a month without will finally be the thing that works and helps keep me away from them!

I'm excited for what is to come, and the amazing results I expect to have. It should be a GREAT month, and a terrific way to lead in to turning 40 in July!!

LET'S DO THIS!!!!